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Jokes Submitted By EmmaLee

Brought it on Yourself  (I don’t get the name)

 

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up?" said the sarcastic teacher.

 

After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

 

"Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer.

 

"Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

 

The Driver
A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition.
 
"What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman.
 
"Well, I guess I'm going to get a drivers license", he answered.
 
 "Oh, don't listen to him," said a woman in the passenger seat "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk.
 
Then the guy in the backseat said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car."
 
At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
 
Weddings  

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered
to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?"

"Because white is the color of happiness and today is the
happiest day of her life." Her mother tried to explain, keeping
it simple.

The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So, why is
the groom wearing black?"

Dumb Jock  

At a school in WV there was a football player that was extremely stupid.
He sat beside a boy in class that was really smart and the teacher knew
that he was cheating. She just couldn't catch him.

One day she was grading a test and she noticed that the smart boy had
written "I don't know the answer" on number 10. So she looked at the
jock's paper and smiled. He had finally given himself away. His answer
looked like this:

10. me neither.

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